Category: Getting Rid of Guilt and Resentments

Part Two: Communication Breakdown: A Negative Approach to a Positive Response

  We closed last time with the statement:  The hardest thing to give is in. Giving in, however, is not giving up. Giving in is taking the first step to reconciliation as Jesus commanded. Jesus spoke to this issue from two perspectives first in Matthew 5:23-24 and second in Matthew 18:15-17. First He said, “Therefore …

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Part One: Communication Breakdown: A Negative Approach to a Positive Response

  As pointed out previously:  There is always a certain amount of right and a certain amount of wrong on both sides of every issue. Trying to determine who is most right and who is most wrong will never resolve the issue. In fact it will only drive the wedge of separation deeper. Scripture states …

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Whose Problem Is It?

  I often remark, It is funny how two people see the same thing differently – funny peculiar not funny ha-ha. The oldest form of problem solving is blame shifting. We read about it in Genesis 3:11b-12:  God asked Adam, “Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? …

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The Primary Resentment

  One subject matter to be explored is entitled:  Know What Makes Your Spouse Tick – Not What Ticks Your Spouse. This article, however, will zero in on what ticks almost everyone – Performance Based Acceptance (PBA). Earlier in this series we explored the thought Comparison Is Spelled K-I-L-L-E-R. We learned anytime a comparison is …

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Life’s 4 Tires Carry Life’s 2 Loads

  Root Level is not new terminology in the field of counseling, but different techniques for solving problems see the Root Level differently. Through this series we have pointed out facts about problems in general such as: Problems are solutions in disguise There is no change if there is no change Attack the problem and …

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Inflating Life’s Spiritual Tire

  It has been stated in previous articles it is essential to determine which tire went flat first and then begin to do what is necessary to inflate it. Although our diagram and explanations started with the Physical Tire, it is the Spiritual Tire that usually goes flat first. In the face of difficulties have …

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Inflating Life’s Emotional Tire

  It is true God gave us every emotion we are able to express ranging from pure delight and joy to life destroying anger and bitterness. BUT He did not give us this range of emotions to think with – He gave us a brain. We dealt with inflating the mental tire last time. Although, …

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Inflating Life’s Mental Tire

  As previously alluded to the mental tire in this illustration relates to human cognition rather than mental illnesses. The successful application of this tool is to recognize which one of life’s four tires went flat first and attend to properly inflating it. A combination of several tools previously taught, and now applied, will aid …

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Inflating Life’s Physical Tire

  For more than 25 years I have been teaching this tool, and have always started with the physical tire for reasons noted in my previous post dated May 4th. Recently I received the following quote in my Inbox by Brian Tracy who is an International Motivator. “Just as your car runs more smoothly and …

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Life’s Four Tires Illustrated

To illustrate the mechanics of this problem-solving tool envision driving a four-wheel vehicle on any highway when suddenly one tire goes flat. In some situations it may not be possible to pull off the road to get out of the flow of traffic. You must continue to keep up with the flow of traffic in …

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Life’s 4 Tires

  This is the primary problem-solving tool employed by this ministry. There are many important tools that precede this one, and there are more tools to apply in completing the problem solving process. But this is key. Life’s tires are delineated as the physical, mental, emotional and Spiritual. By mental tire I am intending to …

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Wrong vs. Right

  Let me start with the conclusion then build my case to support it. A brief word-study of the Greek is warranted here to embrace the full impact of John’s statements in Chapter 8 Verse 32 and expounded upon in Verse 36:  “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth* shall make you free**.” …

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The Fallacy of Compromise

  Two words that are conspicuous, to me, because of their absence in the King James Version (KJV) of the Bible are assume and compromise.       To me, John 8:32 speaks of the opposite of assume,  “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Personally, I assume nothing in my processes …

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The Danger of Rationalization

  Last time we saw God holds each one of us personally responsible for what we think, say and do. God only knows what we think; and He alone hears everything we say and sees everything we do. What is the danger regarding rationalization in this context? In the decision making process people often rationalize …

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Think, Say, Do

  God holds individuals personally responsible for what they think, say and do. This phrase encapsulates all we have learned about speaking and hearing since starting this series September 8, 2014. Since this is so, a review is in order. When we dealt with one of the three levels of change, i.e. the situational level, …

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How to Get Rid of the Junk in Your Trunk

  What is on the inside of you makes the difference as to what you hear. Illustration:  Everything I am telling you now you are processing through what you already know or believe (what is on the inside of you) about this subject. And there is nothing wrong in doing so. In fact, sometimes it …

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Part Two: Blame Keeps Wounds Open

  One of our closing thoughts last time taught us that the mind has a mind of its own. Individuals can choose to remember or choose to block out the memory of things depending on the value or lack of value of that thought. Often thoughts are buried deeply during difficult episodes in life. They …

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Blame Keeps Wounds Open

  This title, Blame Keeps Wounds Open, is an incomplete statement. The balance of the statement is:  Only Forgiveness Heals. The last article was concluded with the truism:  The Bowl That Holds the Acid is Eaten by the Acid. This Acid can be un-resolved anger and/or un-resolved resentment. This Acid can also be un-forgiveness. And …

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Anger: Wanting Someone Else to Pay

  Last time we learned, we can change our actions faster than we can change our feelings. One of the hallmark Scriptures regarding anger is found in Ephesians 4:26-27 which admonishes the reader:  “Be ye angry, and sin not:  let not the sun go down upon your wrath:  Neither give place to the devil.” Dr. …

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Love Is Action Not Feeling

  We can change our actions faster than we can change our feelings. This is an easy lesson to understand, making it easy to teach, because we have all perhaps been there and done this at some point in our lifetime. Picture the following scenario: Two people are feuding, fussing and fighting or yelling, hollering …

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