Jan 18
Until I titled this week’s blog last week I had never made this connection. I’m interested in seeing where my research leads as I support this conclusion. In her book The Compulsive Woman, Sandra Simpson LeSourd wrote: “My mind went back to a clinic lecture. If children are sexually molested, the “boundaries” of their …
Jan 04
Last time we talked about the three levels of change, i.e. superficial, situational, and substantial. The opening paragraph of that lesson is worth repeating since we have just celebrated New Year’s Eve that is often accompanied by new resolutions. Superficial change is temporary change at best. Going through our daily routine we may recognize …
Dec 14
When we looked at phileo love, which cherishes and has tender affection for the loved, we learned exercising this level of love always expected a response. The illustration used was you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. The fifth level of love however is at the opposite end of the spectrum. Of all …
Nov 22
Love is a complicated word to define especially the Americanized English version we employ conversationally and through writing. A trip to my dictionary was enlightening while at the same time mind-boggling in that 8 different aspects, or applications, were necessary to define love. And even these were not adequate as compared to love as defined …
Nov 15
Mainly in fairy tales do the princess and pauper marriages and friendship relationships end with the saying, “And they all lived happily there after.” In the real world, however, this is often not the case. As I write about and teach these tools, I am mindful of the fact that many of these Bible-based principles …
Nov 09
Dear Readers, I am inserting the following article: Marriage – Whose Plan Is It? because of the controversy surrounding this critical subject from both the Right and the Left, Christian believers, non-believers and other factions. As a Bible-based, Christian counselor I state without apology, “I do not beat people over the head with the …
Nov 01
As a jail chaplain I was often confronted by inmates asking, “Hey, Rev, How many God’s are there?” To answer I’d often hold up one finger pointing toward heaven. “If there is only one God why are there so many different religions?” My answer always got the questioners un-divided attention. “I don’t talk about …
Oct 25
Up to this point our discussions have focused on problems and solutions to problems as they affect individuals mostly brought on by personal choices. We have stated we may be free to do whatever it is we want to do, but we are not free to choose the consequences of our choices. The consequences to …
Oct 18
Even the casual observer has to admit, whether they believe in a Divine Creator or not, there is an established, recognizable symmetry and order in life and life’s surroundings. This also applies to family structure. Many teaching God’s Word as a guide for marriage picture this as God’s umbrella of protection for the family. The …
Oct 12
This is a brief lesson built upon three thoughts that have profound results when considered in concert one with the other. The Three Levels of Life1. Satanic = Evil given for Good2. Human = Evil given for Evil – Good given for Good3. Divine = Good given for Evil Initially I am usually misunderstood when …
Oct 04
Last time we looked at the following tool: Submission If you submit to God’s Plan He is in control. If you resist God’s Plan others are in control. One of the key things to remember about submission is that it is God’s Plan. From the Bible’s perspective it is not out of order to …
Sep 27
Today the word, submit, seems to be a cuss-word, but it is not if practiced within the framework of the Biblical admonition. Admittedly it is a difficult concept to embrace because many in positions of authority abuse or misuse their authority. Submitting to the proper authority, that is, one that is truly an authority …
Sep 20
Picture the following as the three points of a triangle: God – Husband – Wife This principle is built upon Matthew 6:33 which has a very wide range of illustrations and applications – marriage included: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these (marriage) things shall be added unto you.” What …
Sep 13
Many in the field of premarital and marriage counseling borrow heavily from Lawrence J. Crabb, Jr.’s The Marriage Builder and Gary Smalley & John Trent’s The Language of Love for teaching communication skills. Larry Crabb sees communication in marriage from two perspectives: Manipulation or Ministry. He states words do one of three things: Words …
Sep 06
Now that I have your undivided attention this article isn’t going where you may think. This isn’t about pushing hot buttons. It is about how men and women are different although equal. We put this study under the heading of Personal Worth: Security and Significance. These are normal needs. If we weighed a woman …
Aug 24
Last time we opened with the following truisms: Creating the male first did not establish his superiority, rather it established his need: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 18a).” Creating the woman second did not establish her inferiority, rather it established her mission: “I …
Aug 16
Creating the male first did not establish his superiority, rather it established his need: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 18a).” Creating the woman second did not establish her inferiority, rather it established her mission: “I will make him an help meet for him …
Aug 08
This kind of math would keep anyone in the first grade, but this is correct biblical math regarding the marriage relationship. Genesis 2:24 speaks plainly to this issue: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall clave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Yes, 1 + 1 …
Aug 02
New Hope was found July 17, 1985 for the expressed purpose of performing premarital counseling. It was discovered early on in this ministry that most couples wanting this service were not ready to be married. Thus we developed our Living Principles from the Living Word teach/counseling ministry which we have been expounding upon for …
Jul 19
After stating the case by assuming full responsibility and asking what you can do to make matters between you better, as detailed last time, there are three responses you can expect. It is good to know these possible responses to prepare for your next move. Response 1: You’re right; you’re wrong. If you get …
