Mar 16
One of our closing thoughts last time taught us that the mind has a mind of its own. Individuals can choose to remember or choose to block out the memory of things depending on the value or lack of value of that thought. Often thoughts are buried deeply during difficult episodes in life. They …
Mar 08
This title, Blame Keeps Wounds Open, is an incomplete statement. The balance of the statement is: Only Forgiveness Heals. The last article was concluded with the truism: The Bowl That Holds the Acid is Eaten by the Acid. This Acid can be un-resolved anger and/or un-resolved resentment. This Acid can also be un-forgiveness. And …
Mar 01
Last time we learned, we can change our actions faster than we can change our feelings. One of the hallmark Scriptures regarding anger is found in Ephesians 4:26-27 which admonishes the reader: “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” Dr. …
Feb 22
We can change our actions faster than we can change our feelings. This is an easy lesson to understand, making it easy to teach, because we have all perhaps been there and done this at some point in our lifetime. Picture the following scenario: Two people are feuding, fussing and fighting or yelling, hollering …
Feb 15
In our previous articles we have been expanding on the full breadth of communication through the acronym BEST. We have noted this is a prescription written by Dr. Ed Wheat, M.D. in his book Love Life for Every Married Couple for attaining and maintaining Great Communication: Bless, Edify, Share and Touch. The principles we have …
Feb 08
In our previous articles (here and here), we have been expanding of the full breadth of communication through the acronym BEST. We have noted this is a prescription written by Dr. Ed Wheat, M.D. in his book Love Life for Every Married Couple for attaining and maintaining Great Communication: Bless, Edify, Share and Touch. …
Feb 01
Last time I introduced Dr. Ed Wheat, M.D., and his best selling book, Love Life for Every Married Couple. I noted many of the prescriptions Dr. Wheat issues are applicable to relationships outside of marriage. As a physician, he offers the following prescription stated in this acronym: The BEST prescription for a superb relationship: …
Jan 25
Last time we stated that just because a person is silent it does not pre-conclude they are listening. Indeed, the silent person may the thinking of their reply or retort. In either case the listener may be missing out on important details being shared. This would be particularly critical in trying to build or …
Jan 18
A placard displayed in a frame shop window attracted my attention causing me to pause and mediate upon the two-word inscription. This vital truth attracted me as a teaching tool for our counseling ministry. As a teaching technique I use impact statements based on a verse, passage or Biblical principle. These impact statements deal …
Jan 04
Emily Dickenson, in one of her poems said, “A word is dead when it is said, some say; I say it just begins to live that day.” Lawrence J. Crabbe, in his book The Marriage Builder said, “Words do one of three things: Words can give life; they can wield death; or they can …
Dec 28
Last time we looked at the first two phases of the following diagram. This time we will walk through the third phase. In a brief review we saw when a problem presented itself two people often attack each other – which obviously doesn’t resolve the issue. Next they begin to attack the problem the way …
Dec 22
This principle is based on the axiom: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If we can prevent a problem from developing, obviously, we do not have to cure that problem. But how do we do this? This is a three-step process outlined by the following diagram. This is taught in the …
Dec 15
Many subliminal signals alert us that something is amiss. Our five senses of human nature, to wit: hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling and tasting work separately, or in concert, for the purpose of warning us and prompting us to take averting action(s). Yes, instant action is often appropriate; if the house is on fire call …
Oct 26
We are continuing to look at making life-altering changes. Making superficial and situational changes we learned are not permanent changes – they are temporary. Substantial change, that is, a change of attitude can be permanent by maintaining a new, and better, attitude accompanied by changing the direction of our behavior. However, you can’t steer …
Oct 13
The first time I heard the statement, There is no change if there is no change, I thought it redundant. But after the Holy Spirit explained it to me I saw the value of this truth: If you want tomorrow to be different from yesterday, you must do something different today – different as in …
Oct 05
The first time I heard the statement, “There is no change if there is no change,” I thought it redundant. But after the Holy Spirit explained it to me I saw the value of this truth: If you want tomorrow to be different from yesterday, you must do something different today. The World (society) says, …
Sep 30
Last week I ended with the question: Who Is the primary source of our problems? Although the answer to this question does not come from a theological source the answer is consistent with Scripture. The answer actually comes from the comic strip character, Pogo, who boldly proclaimed: “We have met the enemy, and he …
Sep 21
Don’t allow the third least source of our problems open the door to blame shifting. Blame shifting is the oldest form of mankind’s attempt to explain away wrong behavior. We learn this from the Genesis 3:8-13 account wherein we read of Adam explaining to God, “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, …
Sep 14
Last time it was noted God is often blamed for letting things happen to us. It is wrongly asserted that because He is all-powerful He could prevent problems plaguing us. You may recall Flip Wilson saying with an impish grin, “The Devil made me do it.” That line was his hallmark expression spoken to …
Sep 11
To say problems are solutions in disguise doesn’t explain where problems might originate. The root-level of problems, I’ve found in thirty-plus years of counseling, comes from one of two areas or a combination of these areas: unresolved anger and/or unresolved resentments. There are four sources from which problems stem creating these unresolved issues. We’ll start with the …
