After stating the case by assuming full responsibility and asking what you can do to make matters between you better, as detailed last time, there are three responses you can expect. It is good to know these possible responses to prepare for your next move.
Response 1: You’re right; you’re wrong.
If you get this response don’t panic and don’t push back. Ask them to give you more detail as to why they feel that way. Dialogue, under control, is part of gaining understanding between two or more people.
Hear the other party out, evaluate and discuss the truth and error in their statement, and ask again: What can I do to make matters better?
Response 2: You’re not totally wrong.
Of course this is better to hear, but again ask, listen and evaluate. Ask again: What can I do to make matters better.
Response 3: It isn’t you; it’s me.
Say, “Thank you. Now that this is behind us how can we improve our relationship.
If the conversation ends with Response 1 offer a general apology and excuse yourself. When you have done all you can do to restore any relationship and at that time cannot consider the answer to these three following questions.
Question 1: Whose problem is it?
Without meaningful dialogue following Response ! you cannot know whose problem it is. We’ve already determined degrees of right and wrong on both sides of any issue.
Question 2: Did I cause it?
Again, without meaningful dialogue you cannot make this determination either.
Question 3: Can I help?
They will not let me.
At this stage of seeking reconciliation one must accept the fact the other party may or may not at some point in the future wish to deal with this pending matter.
Until they do, or do not, pray for God to forgive you of any wrong you may have unwittingly done asking Him to open the door to further pursue reconciliation.
Remember:
The hardest thing to give is IN.
Giving in is not giving up. Giving in is not giving over.
Giving in is taking the first step to reconciliation.
Next time:
Aisle – Altar – Hymn
Dating – Engagement – Marriage
