As noted previously, Scripture is replete in telling us what to do in the event of a communication breakdown – go and fix it – but it does not spell out the steps to follow in bringing about reconciliation.
Apparently, this is a task for the Bible teacher.
A – State the case non-accusatorially: “I don’t know what it is I have done to cause this breakdown in communication between us.
B – Assume 100% of the responsibility for the communication breakdown: Many are quick to say, “Hey, I didn’t do anything wrong; why should I assume full responsibility?”
Take it by faith since no one, biblically-speaking, can be 100% right to mend a relationship take 100% responsibility for your 1% or more of wrongness in the matter. It will be worth it when the issue is resolved.
C – Ask: “What can I do to make things right?”.
Phraseology is critical. If a person approaches another telling them what they must do to make things right between them this approach will usually drive the wedge of separation deeper.
This is a calculated approach that must have total commitment from either side to make it work.
After asking the question listen to the response. Don’t interrupt. Don’t argue.
“But, Tom, suppose they tell me to do something I cannot or will not do?”
Rarely does this happen if the other party is sincere and wants to resolve the issue, but in case they aren’t I do set limits. I will not do anything illegal, immoral, unethical or un-biblical to maintain or retain any relationship.
Next time: Responses and Evaluations
