Attack the Problem and Not the Person

This principle is based on the axiom:  An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If we can prevent a problem from developing, obviously, we do not have to cure that problem. But how do we do this?

This is a three-step process outlined by the following diagram. This is taught in the context of husband and wife although applicable by any who are on opposing sides of an issue. P = problem; H = husband; W = wife:  

We will never be without problems, yet we need never be without a plan for resolution. When a problem presents itself many people attack each other as indicated by the top diagram. This phase can/will continue as long as the opposing views remain.

Moving to diagram two we see a change in the direction of the arrows. Now the husband is attacking the problem as he sees it, and the wife is attacking the problem as she sees it. This brings some relief because they are no longer attacking each other. But this is usually short lived.

As he is attacking the problem as he sees it he begins to think the harder I try the behinder I get. As she is attacking the problem as she sees it she begins to think this guy is clueless.

What happens next? They go back to attacking each other. Only now they bring into the problem added frustrations because their individual efforts did not resolve the matter.

The danger:  Each time this cycle is repeated the more intense the actions become – sometimes even becoming physical.

Next time:  How to Attack the Problem Without Attacking the Person